...I met J. We talked on the phone (texting back and forth) all weekend and then decided to meet each other on Sunday evening. I'll never forget how nervous I was walking up to his apartment and the instant relief and comfort I felt when he met me on the sidewalk with a big hug. I can't believe how fast its gone and yet, it feels like we've known each much, much longer than 10 tiny months. By far the greatest relationship I've ever been in - I think I say this a lot but its true. It hasn't been a ray of sunshine and roses everyday but I would be concerned if it had been. Imperfectly perfect. And we laugh together more than I do with all of my other friends combined. So, here's a mushy gushy shout out to my awesome, hunky boyfriend and Best Friend!! Mwah! I love you :o)
I’m having a panic attack. These stupid meds are killing me. I hate them. Stick with it, stick with it, stick with it. I know it’s the meds. I just have to get through this and relax for a couple weeks. I hate this job. It’s not even that bad it’s just HORRIBLY boring. I don’t want to do this every day. I appreciate learning the process and gaining experience but it’s not what I like to do. I don’t even like accounting that much to begin with but there are aspects I like and I know it. The pay is killing me. I need money. I can’t continue to be completely broke before the first week of the month is over. Collections calls ringing all day. I’m applying to jobs like crazy. I’m trying so hard. I’m just going to keep pushing forward. Keep. Pushing. Forward. I hate that I wanted a life with Jason. That I was too blind to realize what he was. That I was ok with him even from the very beginning when I knew better. Why didn’t I want better things for myself? Seeing him makes me want to vomit.
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