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Working Mother of 2 Headed to 5th Floor

I started back to work last week. And after a week of our new routine, I have to say, I am beyond overwhelmed.
I have to get up a little after 5 am to get myself ready before the boys wake up. I'm lucky if Braz stays in bed until 6:30 and Beckett stays asleep/doesn't need to eat. I work all day without a break except to pump and warm up my lunch. Jason doesn't help in morning and he works till atleast 8:30 every night...some nights he doesn't get home till after 10. So basically I'm a single parent. And he hasn't even started studying for any exams yet this tri! Then I try to spend atleast a few minutes with Jason after he gets off work so I don't get to bed most nights till after 11. 
I hate to complain but I don't think I can keep this up much longer. I can't get anything done because Beckett needs so much attention especially in the evenings (which is normal, he's two months old). Brazos is a handful and I hate that I have no patience with him. And don't even get me started with the dog. She is just an extra responsibility at this point and has zero value - harsh I know but it's true. She's a waste of my very limited energy and time. I'm just so overwhelmed and I have no help! I'm seriously desperate and about to lose it altogether.
I love breast feeding and I'm so thankful that I'm able to provide Beckett with all of his food and don't have to give him/buy any formula. That being said, the commitment and dedication is takes to breast feed means I don't ever really get a break. Yes I can pump and get a break from actually having him attached to my breast but I have to pump. So I only get a few short hours at one time (4 at the most) where I don't have to pump. I'm not complaining because like I said, I'm so thankful I'm able to so it, but it does not help with feeling totally overwhelmed!
Venting on this blog isn't going to change anything but I just wanted to note how I'm feeling so when someone finds me balled up in the corner with no hair and talking gibberish to myself, they'll know why.

Comments

Heather said…
It is super hard. I remember waking up to pump at 5:30, then shower, then Caroline would get up about 6:30 to eat, and I would pump three times during the day. And throw an energetic toddler in there and it's just HARD. Hugs.

This too, shall pass.
January 30, 2014 at 9:15 PM
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