I started back to work last week. And after a week of our new routine, I have to say, I am beyond overwhelmed.
I have to get up a little after 5 am to get myself ready before the boys wake up. I'm lucky if Braz stays in bed until 6:30 and Beckett stays asleep/doesn't need to eat. I work all day without a break except to pump and warm up my lunch. Jason doesn't help in morning and he works till atleast 8:30 every night...some nights he doesn't get home till after 10. So basically I'm a single parent. And he hasn't even started studying for any exams yet this tri! Then I try to spend atleast a few minutes with Jason after he gets off work so I don't get to bed most nights till after 11.
I hate to complain but I don't think I can keep this up much longer. I can't get anything done because Beckett needs so much attention especially in the evenings (which is normal, he's two months old). Brazos is a handful and I hate that I have no patience with him. And don't even get me started with the dog. She is just an extra responsibility at this point and has zero value - harsh I know but it's true. She's a waste of my very limited energy and time. I'm just so overwhelmed and I have no help! I'm seriously desperate and about to lose it altogether.
I love breast feeding and I'm so thankful that I'm able to provide Beckett with all of his food and don't have to give him/buy any formula. That being said, the commitment and dedication is takes to breast feed means I don't ever really get a break. Yes I can pump and get a break from actually having him attached to my breast but I have to pump. So I only get a few short hours at one time (4 at the most) where I don't have to pump. I'm not complaining because like I said, I'm so thankful I'm able to so it, but it does not help with feeling totally overwhelmed!
Venting on this blog isn't going to change anything but I just wanted to note how I'm feeling so when someone finds me balled up in the corner with no hair and talking gibberish to myself, they'll know why.