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Going Back to Work

I miss my little man to pieces!

Coming back to work was just as hard (if not harder) as I imagined. I didn't want to leave him when I dropped him off, thought about him every second of the drive to work, missed him terribly every moment of the day, and was a antsy mess waiting for 4:30 to roll around (not to mention a cheesing, giddy GOOB and practically skipped up to Tonya's front door when I picked him up). I will admit though, once I got to work and got going, I didn't feel like sobbing and feeling sorry for myself every ten minutes, so that was a plus. Today the drop off was easier but the day is worse. Obviously I'm having a hard time concentrating - case in point I'm writing a Post on the blog. So glad its Friday and I have the weekend to soak up some snuggle time with him.

I never dreamed in a million years that I would be wanting to be a stay-at-home mom so badly. I always knew I would be a working mom. And I can't say that I want to be a SAHM necessarily, I am just desperate to be with Braz all day every day of his precious little life. I miss spending my morning with him on my lap, jabbering back and forth with each other. He's so happy in the morning. And, nursing him to sleep for every nap and being the one to come pick him up and love on him when he woke. I want to be able to bring him to bed with me in the mornings so we can sleep in together or take a cat nap together in the rocker. I was his one and only, no one else was with him as much or knew him like I did. I was in every second of his life (minus one or two hours) and I was his favorite. I comforted him like no one else. Maybe that won't change but my heart aches when I think of all the things I'm going to miss. Things mommy's shouldn't miss.

BUT, I just remind myself that I am NOT the first woman to have to go back to work after having a baby. I want to be able to help provide a better life for our family and it is so much easier to do that if I'm working. We'll be able to do great family vacations this way too. In the grand scheme of things, I know this is for the best but being a grown up sucks sometimes. Right now all I want to do is stay home and play with my kiddo, snuggle him and smootch on him and make him smile and coo. *Pouty Lip*

I will make it. I will survive this. It will get easier...right?!

Comments

The Steele's said…
Dawn it does get better I promise!! I have done it twice now!! Not going to lie though I still cant wait to get home and snuggle wiht my little man and little lady! :)
Brandy@YDK said…
Yes it does get easier. I remember those same feelings and emotions but it gets better.

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