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Float Trip 2009

*Disclaimer: Momma if you is reading this, you may want to stop. Fair warning.* :o)

Went on a float trip this past weekend with J and a couple friends of his. It was a crazy time and we all had a blast!!

The four of us rented a raft - there were supposed to be two others coming but they had plans come up. The big yellow raft was dubbed the "Love Boat" and my drunk butt kept singing it as we floated down the river. You know... "The looove booaat..." *crooner signing voice* Funny how things are so much more hilarious when you've been drinking. And they never seem to get unfunny no matter HOW many times you repeat it. Works that way for me anyway...

J wore a speedo to be funny. And it was a big hit with all us white trash folk down the river. Everyone we met and floated past made a comment and gave high fives. Even when we got back to camp, people were yelling across the road "HEY SPEEDO".

We stopped by a group of canoes not too far down the river. One of the guys' nicknames was "stump", so you know right away this is a classy group. We asked him why they called him that and he said it was a long story. I said it sounded like a short one to me... *buh dum dum* I'm a riot! Hahaha. Anyway, there were several severly intoxicated individuals at that stop so it was quite entertaining. One guy actually kept hitting on me and putting his arm around me with J standing right next to me. *chuckle* The boy had balls. Good thing J isn't terribly jealous but he kept scoffing about it several miles down the river and a couple times toward the end. It was pretty gutsy of the guy. So anyway, I earned me some glow in the dark beads, we tinkled, drank a little, yelled at passerbys and then we were on our way again.

We met a big group of like three rafts of people as we were rolling down stream who of course yelled "SHOW UR BOOBS" like half of the rest of the world down there. They were offering up some Malibu so of course I showed the girls in exchange for a swig! *duh* Next thing you know, J is showin off the speedo and a couple of the girls were requested a little show on his part... only fair, since they showed us, he should have to show somethin' too! Seems logical to me but I'd had several beers (did I mention that I started at 8:30 that morning with my first breakfast beer) and several LARGE swigs of Malibu. They were giving him a hard time about packing the muscles to make up for smaller bits...

Wrong. Thing. To. Say.

I turn my head for a second (he hesitated for a minute so I didn't think he was gonna do it) and I hear all the girls squeeling. Yeeeaaah. He showed what the speedo was barely holdin in....his man bits. It was quite hilarious. Well we bid them farewell but not for long cause they stopped a little way up the river and I decided I had to have me some more of that Malibu, so we stopped to par-tay a little. Things got a little carried away here...or I did anyway. I found Alex (my new bestie #1) who had the Malibu and hit her up for another swallow. One of the other girls came up and tagged me in to play beer pong. I might toss in here that they weren't playing on a regulation size beer pong table. They had a make shift pong table made from an upside down bass was great! Haha. Tori (my new bestie #2) was my new partner and we played (terribly) back and forth for a while. There was a lot of inappropriate distraction techniques going on including a lot of boobie showing. J and the other guy with us were there to cheer me on...or more likely to enjoy the view. We played for quite a while but no one actually won and we lost the ping pong ball several times in the process but it was fun, and then about four of us decided it was time to go jump off the cliff nearby. Super Idea. *Sarcastic Scoff* Lesson learned: You should always check the depth of the water before you jump and you should never do it while extremly intoxicated. Dummy. It didn't hurt too bad but I knew that was only the booze talking when I came up out of the water with a bloody knee and foot. My knee looks cute really in that shade of purple...yeah. Well, a guy jumped off right after us and couldn't make it out of the water by himself. Our boys jumped in to pull him out and he was holding his rib. Bet money its broken. Ouch.

Well we packed up and went our merry drunk way back down the river. Much fun was had the rest of the way that probably wouldn't seem as fun when you're sober. Haha. Lots of peeing over the side of the "Love Boat" and almost falling out. More showing off the speedo. Not quite so much boobies, but lots of yelling at passersby to show theres. Geez people they are just boobs, it's not like we asked you to show us your privates!! You'd be amazed at how many party-poopers there are out there. We met a lot of really cool people though!! Good times were had by all!

What a great trip!! Plannin' another this summer.... :o)

*Added Note: Forgot a funny part, need to add it in here. So while we were in the middle of the beer pong match. Alex leans over and starts to suck on J's nipple (he has nipple rings in case ya'll didn't know) at which point J is looking at me with wide-eyed fear. Then she stops looks up at me and proceeds to ask my permission...I say "Go for it honey!". Then J tells her she can only do it if she does me too...aaaand she did. I told you there was a lot of inapporpriate behavior ;o)


Goldie said…
Proud to be my sister right now ain't ya?? Haha!

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