Skip to main content

{21} of THIRTY

21. Describe your relationship with your parents.

When I think of my "parents" I definitely think of my mom and step-dad, they are who raised me and who I grew up with. The ones who've always been there for me.
I forget sometimes that my step-dad isn't really my "dad" in the biological sense. He's the one who taught me how to ride my bike, how to drive, how to change a tire and the oil in my car. He teased me about boys and [dis]approved of all my boyfriends. Pretty sure he offered to "off" one of them after one of my most difficult heartbreaks, and I'm only slightly sure he wasn't serious. He walked me down the aisle (both times) and he always has a big huge bear hug for me when I see him, best hugs ever. He's my dad. Being a step-parent now myself, I appreciate even more everything that he's done for me and  how he never made me feel like I was anything but his kid..."the good kid" as he calls me. It's been hard here lately because I feel like for the first time in my life (since I was 2 years old), our relationship has felt a little strained. He and I never fight. Ever. In 31 years. Until recently, we got into our first argument. And I don't like it one bit. We never even had a tense word towards even through my teen years. For the most part, I know why he's upset with me but that doesn't make it any easier.

I have always been a momma's girl for as long as I can remember. I am my mother's daughter in so many ways, and although I joke about our fine/straight, dishwater blond hair and forgetfulness, I think its a pretty awesome thing to be like my mother. She bestowed a lot of great qualities to me, even if I didn't inherit those long legs. She's been there for me during my darkest times and patiently listened to every boo-hoo and worry. I love our scrapbooking sessions and our trips to paint pottery or take a painting class. I really miss all our school clothes shopping trips each fall, she's still my favorite shopping partner. There's been too much distance between us the last few years with my move to KC and I'm afraid my relationship troubles with Jason haven't helped. I don't get to see her or spend time with her as much as I would have liked. Especially with the boys. And I'm extremely sad that the boys don't get to see there Grammy very often. My decision to move to Texas won't help that at all but I'm hoping to really make it a point to still get us all together as much as possible after we move.

My dad and I have a difficult relationship but it's mending some. I feel like he abandoned me in so many ways and honestly sometimes it feels more like he's an Uncle than my dad. We just don't have that Father-Daughter bond. That being said. He has really impressed me with his role as Grandpa! He's always coming up to see the boys and has even recently kept the boys over night. It was hard to let him in at first because I didn't feel like it was fair for him to get to be Grandpa when he let go of being my Dad so easily. But I know that's selfish and my boys need their Grandpa too. He's really trying to mend our relationship so I'm trying too.


Popular posts from this blog

As Seen on Pinterest: Paper Towel Curls

I pinned this and put it under "Must Try" because seriously -- her hair looks SO CUTE and I want my hair to look like this:

And I can TOTALLY do that ya'll. So, I tried it.

Step 1: Start with wet hair. Me post workout shower [disregard the red face -- I look like my blood pressure is that of a 300 lb man in his late 40s really high after a run] with wet hair.

Step 2: Put mousse in hair, tie hair up in paper towel "curlers" rrrrreeeeaaaalllly tight. Sleep uncomfortably on back all night because said paper towel curlers are too tight. Wake up the next morning really excited -- you gonna be FABULOUS dah-ling [or so I thought].
I know I don't look excited but this is at 5:30 in the morning -- this is as excited as it gets.
Step 3: Take "curlers" out of hair and FREAK THE F OUT when you realize the curls are WWW***AAA***YYY too tight... worked a little TOO well. Maybe I need to just run my fingers through it. Yeah, I'll run my fingers …

Jason's Graduation: Part II

Dr. Allen, DC
4/5 of our marriage has been spent working towards this day. To say we are excited would be a great understatement. I can't even put into words how excited/happy/scared/proud/relieved, etc, etc, etc we are. There just are no words. Jason has worked tirelessly towards this goal. Countless hours of studying. Sacrificing time with me and the kids. And all the work he put in advertising and recruiting patients into the clinic. Personal training early mornings and late nights to help makes ends meet.  And I think of all the sacrifice we've made as a family. Living in a townhouse and then a tiny apartment. I've been the primary provider and a mostly single parent during some stages. And a constant cheerleader and standing behind pushing. We've both been pushing uphill for what seems like forever towards this goal. And we've made it. Not to discount his hard work, because he was the one who really accomplished this goal but I like to think we accomplished this …

Ramblings of a Panic Attack

I’m having a panic attack. These stupid meds are killing me. I hate them. Stick with it, stick with it, stick with it. I know it’s the meds. I just have to get through this and relax for a couple weeks. I hate this job. It’s not even that bad it’s just HORRIBLY boring. I don’t want to do this every day. I appreciate learning the process and gaining experience but it’s not what I like to do. I don’t even like accounting that much to begin with but there are aspects I like and I know it. The pay is killing me. I need money. I can’t continue to be completely broke before the first week of the month is over. Collections calls ringing all day. I’m applying to jobs like crazy. I’m trying so hard. I’m just going to keep pushing forward. Keep. Pushing. Forward. I hate that I wanted a life with Jason. That I was too blind to realize what he was. That I was ok with him even from the very beginning when I knew better. Why didn’t I want better things for myself? Seeing him makes me want to vomit.…