I'm So Mad I'm Shaking!!

Last night I had a girl's night out with Leah and Maria and we had a blast. Not surprising that at 2:30 in the morning I get a text message from my crush here in KC. He wants to see me and we discuss it back and forth between text messages and he REALLY wants to see me. Now, this isn't the shock or cause for surprise. Even though he has repeatedly made it painfully clear through both words and actions that he doesn't want to date anyone, me included. Despite this fact he stills calls occasionally and yes, we spend time together at his place or mine, i know that's the extent of our relationship. I get mixed signals from him from time to time about things that keeps things confusing between us, or for ME at least. But those sorts of things, I can "deal" with. Yes, I get hurt over them, but I pout about it and whine to my friends for a couple days and eventually get over it. But THIS is another story!!! At the end of one of his text messages last night he put those three little words...

I love u.

W.T.F.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a SERIOUS line that just got crossed. Drunk or not, you don't say that!! I can honestly say that I have never and would never ever say that to someone I didn't feel that way about no matter HOW drunk I was!! ESPECIALLY if I knew that person wanted to date me and I didn't want to date them...I just wanted to be friends or even if I did like them to where I WOULD date them if I wanted to date people. I would NEVER hurt someone like that! Those are very serious words!!! Too serious to just tack them on to the end of a text like your saying "hi"!! I told him last night not to say those things unless he meant them and of course he avoided the situation. But along in that text he asked me to please see him tomorrow. I sent him two text messages today - one just blatently asking if he still wanted to see me today. And I got no answer! Fuckin Coward!!! I've distracted myself from thinking about it all day but now, I've kind of run out of things to do at home so I'm just stewing on it and the more I think about it the more PISSED OFF I get! I got so mad a few minutes ago that I actually went to his apartment to confront him and demand an apology (and maybe slap him in the face if he wasn't over a foot taller than me....hmmm....maybe a lower target might work better) but the lucky bastard wasn't home. SO, I'm shaking mad now and I want to scream at him. Who the hell does he think he is???

I mean...you just DON'T SAY THAT!!! Ugh...jerk.

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